Tuesday Afternoon Linebacker

It’s not even June yet. Most college footballers are home trying not to run afoul of their local constabulary. Yet the flood-gates of preseason power rankings are about to open. Stewie Mandel may have been first off the blocks, but the rest are just biding their time. With that in mind, TALB thought this would be a great time to toss some chum into the water. But in a way that only TALB could do it.

Spring practice is valuable to the players and coaches. And each school’s spring game is a great time for the fans. But it means exactly nothing. They didn’t hit hard. The schemes were simplified for the new players. And the scrimmages are generally tightly controlled by the coaches. So, rather than trying to decide on the top 10, 16, or even 25 teams in the nation based on, well, nothing we’re going to look at potential BCS Championship game match-ups.

The “Bringing Sexy Back” Pick
Florida vs USC
Urban Meyer versus Pete Carroll. East Coast versus West Coast. Tim Tebow versus USC’s forty-three tailbacks. This would be a ratings bonanza for FOX. And if the season goes according to plan for both of these teams, the possibility exists that two Heisman trophy winners could be playing on the same field. Salivation indeed.

The “Oh, Not This Sh*t Again” Pick
Ohio State vs the SEC Champion
For FOX, this would be the exact opposite of the above match-up. A snooze fest watched only in the deep South or by anyone wanting to witness first-hand the Buckeyes’ decent into Billsian futility.

The “I’ll Show Them How Smart I Am” Pick
Georgia vs Oklahoma, USC, or Missouri
You’ve dissected your copy of Street and Smiths. Not a single recruit has gone unaccounted for on your board. You know everything there is to know about who is who and what is what. So you pick two of those teams above as your Fairy Tale Trophy (I’m trying that out, like it?) Game picks. Then you say a little prayer to the Football Gods asking them first that 2008 doesn’t turn out like 2007, and second for the health and safety of Knoshown Moreno.

The “BCS Buster” Pick
Georgia vs BYU
The Cougars are the hot “outside” or “mid-major” team of the Spring. So why not go out on a limb and say they’re going to march all the way to Miami Gardens to face off against the juggernaut Bulldogs? Because it won’t happen. The Ownedhio State University has a better chance of reaching the Smoke and Mirrors Championship Game (?) than our Mormon friends.

The reality is that we can’t know yet just how good (or bad) any given team will be. And we won’t have another year like 2007, the big boys will be on the lookout. And, unfortunately, we won’t have another year like 2005 when USC and Texas steamrolled through the season to finish up with one of the greatest college football games ever played. If you really must, prior to even one real game being played, select participants for the Corporate Presented Crystal Football Championship Game I would recommend waiting until the preseason AP and/or Coaches’ Poll comes out. Once they do, select one team from the top 5, then another from 6-10. Heck, it’s about as likely to occur as anything else.

Next Time: The Case Against Ohio State