Tuesday Afternoon Linebacker

If you could change football, what would you do? Would you change things drastically? Or just a little bit? TALB takes a little from column A and a little from column B. Some of my ideas are just plain out there. Others are rooted in reality. I hope you enjoy the 2008 edition of TALB’s King of Football.

Holding
I know I harped on this last year. But I’m still hot about it. The King proclaims that holding will now be a five yard penalty.

Resting Starters
At the discretion of the NFL, any team may be penalized either one game in the standings or 7 points in their first playoff game for “lack of effort” during the final two games of the regular season. This is likely redundant, as most teams who rest starters for significant stretches at the end of the season are going to lose their first playoff game anyway.

Bowl Eligibility
A team will be bowl eligible if they finish in the top 50% of their conference. Independent teams will need to win at least 8 games against Football Bowl Subdivision opponents.

Cupcakes
A team from the FBS may not count any win against teams from the Football Championship Subdivision (or lower) toward their final won-loss total. Any and all polls or rankings are likewise barred from considering the outcome of such games in their rankings.

School Band Formations
When the marching band performs, their formations should be “something”. Random fractal patterns are not acceptable.

The Rich Rodriguez Rule
Richie ain’t the first, nor will he be the last, but I think it’s high time the King made a statement. College coaches, and their representatives (agents, lawyers, cousins, etc) are barred from seeking, being seeked, interviewing, or otherwise communicating with another school about lateral or downward career moves until and unless his team’s season (including bowl game) is complete.

Yes, it will hurt recruiting on both sides for one season, but dems the breaks kid.

NFL Injury Reports
The NFL will hire a staff of sports medicine doctors to oversee the injury reporting process. They will rotate through the teams so as not to become de facto “members” of the organization. Each Injury Inspector will be assigned a team on Monday afternoon. On Tuesday they will travel to the assigned team’s training facility and assess the injury status of each player.

To avoid any possible influence, an Injury Inspector cannot be assigned to a team whose home stadium is within 500 miles of his home.

College Football Playoff
As King I could simply will into place a “true” college football championship. But I won’t. I know, I know, trust me it’s for the better. And, dear readers, the reasons will become evident this off-season. I’ll lay out the pros and cons and then get to the heart of the matter as to why there will never, in my lifetime, be a bracketed FBS championship like we all want.

The Big Ten
The King will drag the Big Ten into the 21st century if it kills him. Get with the program Delaney. The people who still want to see the Big Ten champ go only to the Rose Bowl are you, some of the old presidents, and boosters who have had their seats for 50_ years. Outside of that, the fans, players, and coaches (even though the latter two won’t tell you) want to be 100% invested in whatever championship, mythical or otherwise, there is to be had.

So concludes my insane ranting and raving about things I can’t possibly change about football. The comments are open for those of you that would like to add your own Kingly proclamations.