Tuesday Afternoon Linebacker

A lighter edition of the TALB this week. With the holidays and the recent tragedy it was tough to get into the football spirit. But the Pirates in Pewter Pants managed to win and all but secure the NFC South title. At least that’s something. But as usual, we can’t count on the Packers for a damn thing as they weren’t able to beat the Bears.

Fit To Be Tied…
Or not. Remember a couple of seasons back when Rich McKay jumped ship mid-season and headed to the Falcons? Remember his first official game? It was against us and their win officially eliminated us from the playoffs. Remember how he said it felt good? How’s our ass taste now Richie?

Um. I thought the point of attempting a field goal on a down before 4th down was so that you could do something in case anything went wrong. What’s up with that Mr. Pro Bowl Punter man? Eh? Fall on the damn ball dude! Or pick it up, run out of the pocket, and toss it away.

I for one, loved watching this game. It was exciting at times and frustrating at times. I never thought either team had the game in complete control. But this year seems to be the Bucs’ year. Last season we lost these types of games, and this time around we’re winning them.

Simms The Younger is looking better each week. And I’m happy for him. I’m happy that I was wrong all the times I said he didn’t have what it takes. Maybe if Simms gets another week before that 49ers game he wins it, who knows. TALB really likes our chances in the first round against either Washington or Carolina.

And finally, if Cadillac is not Rookie of the Year then I’ll eat my hat. The guy has carried this team. The Bucs are easily 5-11 without him.

Playoff Scenario
The Bucs simply must beat the Saints and they will wrap up the NFC South and the 3rd seed. If we lose… things get interesting.

Tiny Bubbles… In The Whine
So, the Pro Bowl rosters were released last Wednesday evening, and three local boys made good. Punter Josh Bidwell and his league leading punting average, Derrick Brooks and his team leading attitude and all around great play, and of course Ronde Barber and his mad tyte ball skillz yo all will be headed to the land of haunted Tiki head statues for the NFL’s all star game.

Getting Joey Galloway on the roster was going to be a challenge, we knew that. The NFC is simply loaded at the wide out spot this year. But Torry Holt? Anquan Boldin over Joey, sure. But not Torry Holt, come on.

NFL Playoff Outlook
With just one week left, it’s all pretty much settled…

NFC Locks
Seattle, Chicago, Tampa Bay, New York
The Hawks, Bears, and Giants are already in the playoffs. Sea-town and Chi-town have clinched 1st and 2nd respectively. The Bucs are just a win away from the South title.

NFC Likely
Carolina, Washington
Currently in at 5 and 6 respectively, if they both win (@ATL, @PHI) they’ll stay there. However, if Carolina were to lose to Atlanta they would be tied and the tie-breaker goes to Washington. But, if that were to happen they are in dire straits as their loss would open the door for the Cowboys. The Panthers have the toughest game of the three remaining contenders.

NFC Maybe
Dallas
They need help. Carolina has to lose to fall to 10-6 and the Boys have to win against the Rams to get to 10-6, and their head-to-head win will put them in the tournament. Or Washington can lose to fall to 9-7 and the Boys would then have to win to get to 10-6.

NFC Not So Much
Atlanta, Minnesota, Philadelphia, St. Louis, Arizona, Detroit, Green Bay, New Orleans, San Francisco
Can’t tell you how nice it is to be able to enter the Falcons into this section. The Dirty Birds may just find a way to top the Packers on TALB’s hate list.

TALB’s NFC Projection
1. Seattle
2. Chicago
3. Tampa Bay
4. New York
5. Carolina
6. Washington

Wild Card Round: WAS @ TB, CAR @ NYG

AFC Locks
Indianapolis, Denver, Cincinnati, New England, Jacksonville
The top five seeds are wrapped up tight in the AFC. Though Cincy and New England could flip-flop the 3 and 4 spots should the Bengals lose (@KC) and the Pats win (MIA). Since they did not play and did not have four common opponents, the “Strength of Victory” tie-breaker would come into effect. TALB has no idea what that’s all about.

AFC Likely
Pittsburgh
Win, and you’re in. Or, have your Bengal friends take care of business against KC and you’re in.

AFC Maybe
Kansas City

AFC Not So Much
San Diego, Miami, Cleveland, Baltimore, Buffalo, Oakland, Tennessee, New York, Houston
Every year some deserving team gets left out. This year it’s San Diego.

TALB’s NFC Projection
1. Indianapolis
2. Denver
3. Cincinnati
4. New England
5. Jacksonville
6. Pittsburgh

Wild Card Round: PIT @ CIN, JAX @ NE

Are You Done With Some Football?
So, Monday Night Football on ABC is done. Okay. And? Does anyone care? Al Michaels will make the jump to ESPN and their MNF package. His partner in the booth will be Joe Theisman (shudder). The NFL will make the NBC Sunday night broadcasts the new marquee game of the week.

Well, technically, the ABC MNF team gets to do two more games (wild card and Super Bowl).

Buc Junkies: Playoffs
In the semi-finals, the three time defending TeaBaggers handled the upstart Gunslingers 96-60 earning their fourth straight trip to the championship game. They’ll take on the Slappies; fresh off their 83-77 upset victory over the Ass-Clowns. TALB expects that the champs will once again vanquish their foe and collect the cash money prize.

In other Buc Junkies news, yours truly finished the regular season int 14th place… out of 14 teams. Maybe there is a losers curse for our championship game too. I just need to draft smarter next year.

Running Items
Grated Cheese
So, the Mike “Iraqi Information Minister” Sherman reality tour continues. After having done virtually nothing with a franchise that used to make the playoffs just by showing up for the season, the man who should put a jersey on thinks that getting killed by the Ravens shouldn’t affect his job status. Okay. Well, what about the fact that your team sits at 3-12 now and could very likely hit rock-bottom and finish 3-13, the worst finish for the Pack since the “Bay Of Pigs” days of the mid-eighties? Or, that under your watch the Lambeau Mystique has all but disappeared. The Atlanta damn Falcons came into Lambeau, in January, in the playoffs, and beat the hell out of the Packers a couple years back. Mikey, you’re 2-4 in the playoffs, with two home losses. To be fair, the guy has a slightly winning record overall. But in Titletown, the expectations are just a bit higher. He probably gets one more season to turn it around before someone shows him the door.

Super Bowl XL
Colts vs. Seahawks
Until and unless some team from the NFC makes some noise I’m sticking with the 1 seed.

King Of Football
As always, feel free to submit your entry for TALB’s King Of Football 2006. It will appear during the off week between the NFL conference championships and the Super Bowl (January 31).

Next Week: The end of the NFL regular season, the Super Bowl Tournament bracket, and the capper to TTNHBC’s freshman season.