Tuesday Afternoon Linebacker

The Bucs are bad. Chris Simms is bad. The Gators aren’t great. What else is there to say about the weekend that was in football? Oh, well I guess we can talk about Terrell Owens. Or maybe the Bulls and their continuing quest to win the Big East in their first year.

The Sad Truth
This was probably the make-or-break game for Simms The Younger. And the kid did not come through. The fearsome Carolina defense harassed the third year quarterback into more than one big mistake. Our running game, once (five games ago) feared throughout the league has returned to its normal moribund state. After the Panthers contest, the aura of doom and doubt has now matched intensity with the thoughts of greatness once (five games ago) heralded in these parts; and in this space.

Chris Simms is not the answer in Tampa. He might be good. He might be great. Just not here. Just not in this offense. The man has had three years to grasp the concepts of Chucky-ball, but so far has not produced even one win as a starter. Brian Greise, of all people, came in and rode the bench just like Simms, but he took over as the starter by the sixth game. Since then the Bucs have compiled a record of 9-8 in games started by Griese. The Simms era is 0-2 (not counting a loss or two from 2003 or 2004). The Griese thing is what tears it for me. If that guy can come in a grasp the offense in less than one season, why can’t Simms do it in three? If Gruden continues to start this clown TALB just might start agreeing with those who have questioned Chucky’s judgement.

As bad as Simms played, he is not the only one to have a hand in this latest defeat. Oh no. The defense failed to stop the run or the pass. Even if they started with a short field sometimes. This defense is supposed to be able to stop anyone anytime. The vaunted defense followed up last week’s masterpiece at San Francisco with this turd sandwich.

The Carolina Panthers exposed what most in the national media already knew and what we here in the Tampa area were loathe to admit. That the Bucs were all smoke and mirrors. Either that or the Panthers really are the best team in the NFC (they probably are).

What is comical though is that the fast start by the Pewter Pirates may be enough to get them into playoff contention anyway. If you look at the remaining schedule the Bucs can still go 10-6. Washington is up and down, Chicago is still the Bears, a pair against the wayward Saints, and a home date against the run-defense impaired Falcons could all be wins. Though the Bucs are also an up and down team, so nothing can be taken for granted. They may never win another contest this season.

But in my opinion it all rests on the decisions made at the quarterback position. Gruden has said that Tim Rattay is not yet ready to lead this team. But Simms, even after three years, is obviously not ready to lead them either. Give Rattay a chance. He can’t be any worse can he?

A Win, I Guess
I’m trying something a little different. I’ll be adding my thoughts as I watch the game. The first quarter went by so fast that I’m just now starting to get my bearings. After the quick strike by the ‘Dores the Gators have now started to pull away. The announcing team is terrible.

I was just about to write something nice about Cutler, then the announce-o-trons mentioned how pro scouts see a lot of Favre in the kid. So nevermind.

Is Vandy’s O-line really this good? The Gators are just not getting much penetration to this point in the game (post second Vandy TD). Okay, well now things are getting better. What is up with Leak and his little spin-move?

The stats from halftime were taken down the first time, in case you missed it, because The Deuce gave the Gators a little too much credit; 1291 passing yards.

Cutler is a little like Favre, the announcers are starting to make excuses for his mistakes.

But we can give the droids some credit. The play on which the Gators scored following the fumble could easily have been called a “reverse” since it was a wide-out who ran the ball and he acepted it running counter to the play. But the guys got it right. They didn’t even come close to yelling “it’s a reverse!!!111one!”.

I can understand why they missed the penalty on the ensuing kick-off, I mean they need to advertise that low-profile match-up on the obscure Monday Night Football broadcast. I mean, what’s action in the game at hand when you can pimp MNF?

Do these announcers have somewhere else to be? They have complained about the duration of the review for both replays.

Chris Leak with confidence is amazing. Chris Leak without is scary. Good thing he has his confidence tonight.

There would be no “indisputable visual evidence” to overturn the TD guys. Drop it. Plus, what exactly would Vandy have done agains the Gators with the ball on the 3 inch line?

As good as Vandy is playing and as bad as Tennessee is playing right now it is not unrealistic to think the Dores can beat them (along with Kentucky) to become bowl eligible.

TALB is on record about Josh Portis. And he hasn’t shown me anything tonight that would change my well-known opinion of the young man as a player.

All in all I’d say that Vanderbilt’s offense is much better than their defense. Which means they have a solid foundation for future success. They do have an issue with depth due to their academic standards (which is a good problem to have by the way). And defense tires more quickly than offense, which tells you exactly what would need to happen to get the ‘Dores out of the SEC cellar.

Jeebus. These all-out blitzes at the end are scary. The Gators haven’t been getting much penetration at all tonight. Why bother trying now. Just drop into coverage and keep their receivers in the middle of the field.

Excessive celebration is a touchy subject. And the receiver for Vandy started to dance. Had he just jumped up and down or something else, probably no call. But the little dance move (that would have continued had his teammate not stopped him) is what got him. And what about all of the calls that Vandy has had go their way all game? No mention of that?

Damn. Not enough of a pad on my recording. Made it all the way through the coin toss in OT. had to resort to the highlight shows. It’s about time the defense came back around and made a stop. And just in case, the Cornelius touchdown was good; he had two feet inbounds.

(Harsh language to follow) Jay Cutler’s dad can go fuck himself. That’s what you get asshole for taunting, you cocksucker. What a good sport. I hope you appologized to the Gators fans around you for picking a fight earlier. Probably not because you’re a fucking faggot ass motherfucker. (Harsh language concludes)

Here’s one thing that is pretty evident. Should Auburn beat Georgia and the Gators beat South Carolina next week; the Gators will probably get thrashed again by the Tide in Atlanta.

Go East Young Man
The Bulls took the field in scenic New Jersey over the weekend to take on resurgent Rutgers. Incidentally, Rutgers claims to be the birthplace of collge football. The upstart Bulls, just seven years old, came away with a 45-31 victory. They still control their own fate in the Big East. A match-up with either Alabama or Georgia in the Sugar Bowl would be exciting, no doubt. But they probably wouldn’t stand a chance.

For Real?
On Monday night the Colts and Patriots, the 00’s version of the 90’s Cowboys-49ers, squared off to see if Dungy’s kids were for real. The Colts proved to be the better team this time around. And what is really scary is that there isn’t a team left on the Colts’ schedule that is a sure thing to beat them. The Steelers, Chargers, and Seahawks are the best bets to notch a win against the (this is painful) best team in the league.

Terrell pwn3ns
T.O. has been Keyshawn’d by the Eagles. Expect to see him in another uniform next season. Like Keyshawn, T.O. is a great talent. But that talent has gone and clouded his judgement with regards to relations with his coaches and teammates.

Where do things go from here for both the Eagles and TO? The Eagles are a passing team. And their lone trip to the Super Bowl came with TO at wide out. Can they find another guy with an acceptable ego who is just as good?

And TO? Does he go to the NFL’s version of a home for wayward boys; the Oakland Raiders? Probably not. They already have their hands full with Randy Moss. TO and Randy on the same team would probably cause some kind of collapse in the space-time continuum due to the mass of their egos. The irony of going to either Baltimore or back to San Fran would be too much for TALB to bear. How about taking Moss’ old job in Minnesota? Any other thoughts?

Aints
The circus surrounding the present and future of the “New Orleans” Saints just keeps growning. Now hated owner Tom Benson says that security at LSU’s Tiger stadium was inadequate and lead directly to his altercation with the media and fans after last week’s game agains the Dolphins. As a result, the owner will no longer attend Saints games played at the venue.

And on the subject of the future of the “New Orleans” Saints, I didnt’ think the NFL could be so crass. As I (in my pre-TALB days) noted previously, the NFL is trying real hard to get a team to move to Los Angeles. But to try and do it with this wayward franchise is just wrong. After 9/11 Tags and the NFL were tripping overthemselves to award a Super Bowl to BOTH New York City and the DC area. But in the wake of a, dare I say it, much larger distaster they want to yank away the affected region’s franchise. And what’s worse is that these discussions are taking place just as recovery is starting. For pete’s sake give New Orleans and the Superdome a chance to get back on their feet before worrying about when or if the city and stadium can accomodate the team. Granted, if the Superdome is now unusable no matter how much money is spent to repair it and the people of Nawlins and Louisiana don’t want to (and rightly so) pay for a new venue then by all means move the team. But up until that series of events comes to pass, leave them alone.

Help A Brotha Out
There is something that has always bothered me when watching football; live or on TV. When a team has “goal to go” how hard would it be to also communicate the distance as well. It could be displayed as either “3rd-G(8)” or “3rd-8(G)” or something like that. Most of the time you can just look and see. But on TV, the camera angle can make it tough to see just how far a team is from scoring. And if you’re at the stadium and sitting near the other end zone, you probably can’t see for sure just how far out the team might be.

BMOC
Notre Dame 41, Tennesee 21 - Just how bad is UT this year? Can they even beat Memphis or Vanderbilt? I think that Vandy will beat this terrible Vols squad. Recently there has been a lot of talk of racism with regards to the contract extension signed by Charlie Weis. TALB thinks it has a lot more to do with the NFL’s renewed interest in Weis than the color of his skin.
NC State 20, FSU 15 - Even after losing the game the Noles were crowned the inagural champions of the ACC’s Atlantic division. Yeah, the ACC is a power conference in football. Miami is the foregone champion of this conference anyway. So I guess it doesn’t matter if it was FSU or Wake Forest.
Arizona 52, UCLA 14 - UCLA once thought they were going to challenge USC and the rest of the country for a Rose Bowl spot. Now, not so much.

Running Items
WTF?
The news is all over, but not covering the lesbianic Panthers’ cheerleaders in TALB just might be a crime. As we now know, one of the women invovled was not actually a cheerleader for Carolina. But wasn’t it a great story anyway. Hot cheerleaders allegedy invovled in sex acts in a bar. It doesn’t get much better than that my friends.

Grated Cheese
Brett Favre has said that he probably would not return to the Packers next season if the organization parts ways with embattled head coach Mike “Put A Jersey On” Sherman. Reading through the article just deepens my hatred for this glory-boy. He doesn’t want to sit in meetings? Learn a new offense? Try to remember that odd is to the other side now? The article concludes by pointing out Mr. Favre’s 15 touchdowns despite missing star players. But they fail to mention the corresponding 13 interceptions.

Anyway, if getting rid of Mike Sherman also rids us of Favre Beans, then count TALB among those on the fire Mike Sherman bandwagon.

Rose Bowl
USC vs. Texas
They might as well just play the game right now.

Super Bowl XL
Colts vs. Panthers
TALB hadn’t seen any live games for the Panthers, so I wasn’t aware of just how good they were. With the Eagles falling hard and no one else stepping up to fill the void, the Panthers have to be considered the class of the NFC.