Tuesday Afternoon Linebacker

After two weeks of NFL action, things are starting to take shape. However, one must be careful not to put too much stock into just eight quarters of football. As is the custom, wild extrapolations of any given gentleman’s statistics abound throughout the football writing world. TALB ain’t too proud to get in on some of that action. However, your host will not abide too much predicting of the future when it comes to teams who handle the oblong spheroid.

Sprained In The Membrane
Cadillac Williams. Have you seen a guy this good lately? Not around here we haven’t. As good as Warrick Dunn and Mike Alstott ever were for the hometown team, Caddy is better. With an eighth of the season done, he’s a quarter of the way to a 1,000 yard season. If he keeps up this pace (not likely), he’ll make it to 2,200 yards by the final gun against the Saints at Ray Jay on New Years’ Day. At this pace, look for him to eclipse the Bucs’ single-season rushing record (1,544 James Wilder, 1984) during the game against the Bears on Thanksgiving weekend.

In other action during the same game, the Bucs’ mighty defense is mighty once again. Giving up just 9 points total and less than 200 yards a game, they are to be feared. It’s good to see the unit back on top. Couple that with the recent offensive explosion and maybe… It is only week 2, there’s a lot of football yet to be played. Right now 2-14 is just as likely as 14-2.

After this past weekend’s action, there are only three undefeated teams left in the NFC; Redskins, Giants, and your Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Take that for what it’s worth.

Next week the lads head to Lambeau to face the hated Packers. The northern branch of the “Bay of Pigs” have fallen to 0-2 after defeats at the hands of the Lions and Browns. And given the recent history of the Packers at home (they’ve been losing a lot), the Bucs shouldn’t have much to fear. Come on, the Browns won on the tundra for cripes sake.

Fat Man Stomping
Late in the UF-Tennessee collision, Phil “Fatman” Fulmer was seen stomping about and being generally pissed off at the world. It’s good to see things put back in their proper order. Having that “bowl full of jelly” walk around BHGS like he owned the place just wouldn’t do. Not at all. Oh, and Britton Colquitt (of the “Kickin’ Colquitts”), might be a good idea to stick with the family tradition rather than try and start becoming a Passin’ Colquitt.

No, the spread-option neither spread, nor optioned much during the game. But the offense was able to move well enough to get the job done. TALB, however, was constantly screaming for Chris Leak to actually take the ball rather than give the inside hand-off. I don’t think Leak, or the outside runner, ever touched the ball when the Gators ran the triple-option. With the sheer number of times the play was called, and the ball went inside, you would think that taking it outside would have been a good move. Then again, I’m neither Chris Leak nor Urban Meyer.

Though I do applaud The Fatman for his choices with regards to the quarterback position. Much like Jeff Bowden, Fulmer tried to go with the guy who was not having success against the Gators rather than the guy who was moving the ball (and scoring). If the Vols want to be successful going forward, they’ll need to settle on a signal caller and be done with it.

Injury Note: Ray McDonald is going to be out for 4-6 weeks at last report. And Andre Caldwell is gone for the year with that broken leg.

BMOC
BMOC will be TALB’s weekly quick-hitting run down of college football action. I have been toying with different ideas on how to cover the college game more broadly, and this is the best I could come up with. Sorry.
Michigan State at Notre Dame
One of three top-25 overtime games this past weekend, the Spartans came out on top 44-41. The game see-sawed back and forth before State took, what appeared to be, a commanding lead late in the game. The Irish came back to tie it in regulation. An interception by State in the first overtime sealed the victory. The Irish were riding a tide of high expectations coming into this game; they had defeated both Pitt and Michigan in their first two contests, and had come from 20th to the 10 spot in that same span. Unfortunately, they were matched-up against the giant killer Michigan State Spartans. The Sparties are an impressive 9-1 versus top 10 teams over the last several years.
Miami at Clemson
Triple overtime to decide this collision as the Canes won 36-30. The Hurricanes are not as strong as they once were, that is becoming more and more evident each week. However, they are still ahead of the middle of the ACC by enough to win tough ones like this. Though I think the Canes are going to fall to the stronger teams (VT for example) as the season wears on.
UCF at USF
Another overmatched opponent for the Bulls. This time they come out ahead 31-14. Andre Hall had another spectacular outing, finishing with 22 rushes for 155 yards and two scores. Though the passing game was as anemic as always, managing a combined 100 yards between Julmiste and Denson. Bulls fans must be wary of this poor performance. Andre Hall can only carry the team so far. Eventually the Bulls will face a team that can stop him, and then Julmiste will have to figure out how to operate the football. Shudders.
Mississippi at Vanderbilt
This was actually a pretty exciting game. The 3-0 Commodores outlasted the Rebels 31-23. TALB was impressed by the offensive and defensive play of the ‘Dores as they were able to take control of the game early, and then rebound from a 3rd quarter rally by the Rebels. It is heady times in Nashville as the Commodores are faced with the real possibility of being 5-0 when they take the field at home against LSU on October 8. Things should return to their normal order as they face off against UGA and UF in the weeks following the LSU collision (with a visit to SC in between).
FSU at Boston College
The pre-game hype was all about how the Eagles would simply run away with this game, their first in the ACC. Like Miami though, you can never count out the Noles, even when they’re down. The Eagles did make a good attempt, but fell well short when the depth of FSU kicked in and the hated Noles tacked on 14 points in the fourth to win the game 28-17. Many of the Noles’ weaknesses were further exposed by BC, but one former weakness turned into a strength, at least for this contest. Drew Weatherford racked up 243 yards passing and two touchdowns (and an interception) to lead the Noles to victory. And it was really the Semi-nole offense that had to carry the burden, as the defense allowed the Eagles to run up and down the field almost at will until the end of the game.
Illinois at Cal
“ …as Zook’s inventive offense seemed to run out of ideas and energy after halftime“; TALB does not know where to begin with that statement. Cal was victorious by a final score of 35-20. Faced with the onslaught of Cal’s second half adjustments, Ron Zook fell into his old ways. His team became conservative and mistake prone. Honestly, how did he get another job?

The Ironing Is Dellishus
In the preseason most, if not all, of the NFL writers across this grand Internet selected the Minnesota Vikings to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl. Instead the Purple Ones are considering just where to set their pyre a-sail in the next few weeks when they fall even further out of playoff contention. Thus is the folly of preseason prognostication. TALB rarely ventures into the breach of predictions. Only the Running Item showing who I like for the big game is a regular attempt. Hell, before about week four we don’t know diddly about most teams and what they are made of. Sure, the Bucs are 2-0 and look terrific, but many of us felt the same way after the lads laid a 17-0 whupping on the Eagles to open the 2003 season.

Who’s Our Favorite Player?
Much love for #55, much love. You can see his frustration already. Linebacker Derrick Brooks has dropped two touchdown passes so far this season, one each from Daunte Culpepper and JP Losman. And he’s hating it, you can see it in his reactions. Plus there was that rookie mistake in the Vikings game, when he should have fallen on a fumble instead of trying to pick it up. But Mr. Brooks will get the benefit of the doubt in this space, he’s earned it. Ray Lewis this, Ray Lewis that; what about Derrick Brooks? You have to think 55’s destined for Canton, but it might all depend on when he finally hangs it up. If he’s got to go against Lewis, who knows. TALB believes Mr. Brooks will get into the Hall, the only question would be when.

Big Gimmicked
The Thunderers lost another one this week, 41-38. Coach and GM, TA Linebacker was at a loss to explain what happened. “Ben was held out all week with an injury. How could we have known he’d go out there and have a great game?” At least this week number one receiver Tory Holt snagged a touchdown for the ‘Ders. The same cannot be said for the remaining skill position players. None of which could manage to find the end zone for the second straight week. “When you have McGahee and Curtis Martin in the same backfield you expect good things to happen. But those guys just haven’t got untracked yet. We expect them to have break out games next week,” pleaded the Coach. Backup defense Cincinnati had a field day with the Vikings, but they languished on the Thunderers bench as the anemic Bills defense managed just one sack and allowed seventeen points. Again Coach Linebacker was without an answer, “Minnesota’s offense tanks AGAIN? You’ve got to be kidding me!” Next week does not get any better for the team as, for the second week in a row, the team collides with the previous week’s high scorer; the BitchSmackers. The Thunderers may be without running back Curtis Martin, he suffered an injury during the game against the Dolphins and will have an MRI this week. The team is currently looking at a few possibilities among the left-overs at the tailback spot.

CBSucks
For this past weekend’s NFL slate, CBS managed to broadcast four games in HD. The Bucs-Bills collision not among them. Whilst Fox continues to telecast all of their games in crystal clear 720p. But Your Grandfather’s Network did manage to scrape up a few HD cameras for the UF-Tennessee tilt on Saturday, and boy did it look impressive (watched some Sunday, thanks HD Tivo!). What is it going to take to get CBS to get with the program. As it stands today, all NFL games on Fox, ABC, and ESPN are broadcast in HD. And I’m sure NBC won’t skimp on that account when they take over Sunday night games next season. There is no excuse CBS, none.

Plus, CBS just can’t cover football right anyway.

Running Items
WTF?
Vanderbilt is in first place in the SEC East at 3-0 overall and 2-0 in conference play.

Breath Of A Salesman
This time, a radio ad. It is for Pepto Bismol. The first thing that is disturbing is that Biz Markie has stooped so low as to shill for Pepto. The next disturbing thing is that at the end of the spot The Biz lets loose with “Pink tastes better than you think.” I’m sure the suits at the ad agency and at Pepto HQ thought it was a great line (the ad is for some new Cherry flavored version of the pink goop). Of course, TALB’s first thought upon hearing this line was NSFW. One wonders if the double entendre was intentional.

Super Bowl XL
Ah, for the hell of it…
Colts vs. Bucs
This game would send the Bucs’ message board into a frenzy of Sapp-ian proportions. The resulting flame war after the game would probably make the processors in the servers hosting the board to actually melt.

Next Week: Mounds of Grated Cheese, and a column that will make you say “It was better than (the Wild)Cats. I’ll see it again and again.”