Tuesday Afternoon Linebacker

It seems that I missed out completely on last week’s biggest football story in last week’s edition. Terrell Owens had a naked white woman jump into his arms. I guess since it was on TV that made it newsworthy. Not that it would have mattered to me to see Nicollette Sheridan’s naked back, but someone at ABC should have known better. A short skirt and high heels would have been sufficient and less likely to incur the wrath of the mighty FCC.

A Win Is A Win
The Bucs crushed the once mighty 49ers. No it wasn’t an ugly win by any stretch of the imagination. But it was against a very bad team. This very well should have been a shutout. I’d like to think that we have a shot at the playoffs, but since the start of “The Comeback” we’ve beaten average to bad teams and lost to good ones. And if the pattern continues, that’s 8-8 at the end of the season. The NFC is weak, so if we can get to 9-7 we should make it in. But something will have to change.

Ron Zook Field
So, before the UF-FSU game the FSU folks named the field after their current coach. Interesting. Of course, the lame duck coach of the Gators was able to get the first win on Bobby Bowden Field and Joke Shambles Stadium. I would have to say that this is among my personal top ten best Gator football games ever. And possibly in the top five.

You have to give Chris Rix some credit though. He was able to do things that Wyatt Sexton just couldn’t get going. And of course Rix’s lone TD pass was helped a bit by a no-call. But we won so whatever. Though I’m sure that the Noles fans are compiling, Micheal Moore-like, their list of conspiracies and half-truths in order to defame our win.

And on the subject of the Zooker. I’m seeing a bunch of “unfire” Ron Zook stuff floating around. As I said last week, he wasn’t fired after several successful seasons and one bad one. He was fired for a complete lack of ability to have the Gators contend. He beat FSU at Tallahassee, great. But he also lost to Ole Miss at Gainesville. He lost to Tennessee twice. Do we need to discuss the twin Outback Specials? And the icing on the cake was his approval of that wacky trick play at the end of the Outback Bowl versus Michigan. You’ve heard it here before, but I will never allow him to be forgiven for letting Rex Grossman go out like that. Coach Zook, your buddy Zaunbrecher destroyed Grossman’s Heisman chances, why let him also take the ball from the kid when the game is on the line in his last game ever as a Gator?

Fare thee well Zooker. But fare it somewhere else.

Stuck in 9th
As I write this particular section on a Monday afternoon my team sits ahead 46-29 with Corey Dillon and Johnnie Morton still to play. I think I’ll win. Too bad the other teams I needed to lose were able to pull out victories. I stay in ninth place for another week. Though next week I match up against Gr8hakr’s Deez Nutz team who were crushed by the Ass Clowns this week. If I can pull out a victory I should move on up to the eighth spot and be in position for the playoffs.

Next On The Agenda
Bob Stoops is mad. He thinks the SEC (Auburn) is getting a “bump” from ESPN due to their television contract. Stoops is a good guy. Maybe he’s just frustrated about something. What, I’m not sure. Maybe he needs to rethink his comments though. The SEC has a much larger contract with CBS, so maybe he should be lashing out at them. Or that the Big XII has a contract with ABC (also Disney owned like ESPN). I guess in the reality of the BCS you do and say whatever you think will help your team. The only true way to avoid even the appearance of such impropriety would be to turn over the BCS to the computers entirely. But that will happen shortly after Division I-A has a football playoff.

Eh?
Lou Holtz officially retired on Monday. And sometime today it is expected that Spurrier will be announced as the new head coach.

I guess that he must hate Foley just that much to come back to the game not only in the SEC but in the Eastern division. Not only will he be expected to replicate his success with the Gators, but every season he’ll have to try and defeat them. This is going to make the choice for the Gators’ next head coach that much more important. Right now the Florida teams can recruit pretty well all across the South. But if the Gators were to falter in their search or their choice they could potentially lose a few players to the Cocks. But that small possibility is not of much concern right now as the core offensive players are mostly underclassmen who should be around for another season or two. Plus, the Gamecocks will have to establish some kind of winning tradition to lure top tier players from the states of Florida, Georgia, and Alabama. Spurrier is the guy who can do that, maybe.

From here on out as a fan of SoS I’ll wish him luck and success in all games except against the Gators.

Running Items
WTF?
This week, TALB presents the NBA Edition of WTF:
How in the hell does a millionaire jump up off a table and start laying punches into the faces of citizens? And with all of the cameras the lawsuits will be open and shut. Ron Artest’s reduced salary for the remainder of the season will be further reduced by all of those suits. And then there’s the possible jail time. I sure hope whatever was said was really offensive Mr. Artest.

Breath Of A Salesman
Bud Light Institute. Great set of spots. Beer advertising should be hilarious. Who cares about carbs and all that. Give me the funny!

Worst. Call. Ever.
This is actually an opposite item this week. The biggest ref call from the UF-FSU game that the Noles are crying about is the pass interference by them in the end zone late in the game. Watch it again kids. Jersey fully grabbed and pulled down. At the very least it’s defensive holding but considering that the ball was in the air it’s justifiably PI.

Super Bowl XXXIX
Steelers vs. Eagles
No change here. Very boring race in the NFC. The Iggles just about have home field wrapped up (again) and the Steelers, even playing poorly, still won. But honestly, the Eagles are just a place holder at this point. We all know they’re not going to make it.